Nannies, Parents, and The Coronavirus (COVID-19)
Photo: unsplash x kelly sikkema
“My bosses told me, ‘You’re a part or our family. If we get paid, you get paid. We will implement half days as long as schools are closed and you will get your full paycheck as scheduled.’”
“Even though I have guaranteed hours and my nanny family is still receiving their normal pay from their jobs, they are making me take 2 weeks unpaid because of COVID-19. They also said they may increase it to 1 month if things get worse. I’m super annoyed because now I don’t have a way of paying my bills. They won’t let me use vacation time, or personal time because ‘it’s not a vacation, and they chose the time for me.’”
“So far my nanny family has been great. They've even offered for my kids to come to work with me if needed.”
“As of right now, our lives are carrying on as normal. Same hours, same pay. Mom Boss and Dad Boss are still working out of the home. We are still going out for daily activities. However, I expect all of this to change next week. I do not know what will happen in worst-case-scenarios because I’ve been really anxious and feeling uncomfortable about asking. I’m scared I will lose income or even my job down the line! I would hope that if I have to stay home for any reason, I will be paid and not out of my PTO, but my guaranteed hours. However, this situation is unprecedented and not in any of our contracts, and my nanny family is not high net worth so I really have no idea. There’s a constant underlying anxiety about ‘what comes next’ for me.”
“I’m a stay-at-home-mom and I have a part time nanny. We have a 16m old boy and my husband is working from home. We are staying home and doing our part and I also want her to be safe so I’m paying her full salary even though she will not be coming. It’s the least I can do. Unfortunately we are all going to suffer from this in one way or the other. We need to be socially conscious and try to help and do the right thing.”
To Nannies and Parents
At this point, just like depicted in the real-life experiences above, you’ve started brainstorming how to prepare for the unknown that is unfolding. For most of you, you’re already experiencing work and home-life changes as a result of this pandemic. Just like you, dealing with something like this is not my expertise, so I am by no means an expert on exactly how to navigate the nanny/family employment relationship in light of COVID-19.
Disclaimer aside, I’m opening the conversation on how this is impacting both nannies and parents, and considerations for navigating this going forward. My hope is that you may gain some insight, ideas, and perspective when reading this article. We are obviously dealing with an uncharted, global crisis. Everyone is doing the best they can to get through this and it is going to take ALL of us as humans to pitch in and be flexible. This goes for both nannies AND parents. It’s imperative that both parties are reasonable and compassionate, given the circumstances. Nannies need to put themselves in the parents’ shoes and parents need to put themselves in their nanny’s shoes. Everyone needs to show grace where they can, and give what they can.
Challenges for Nannies
For nannies, in addition to worrying about their own safety and family, they also are dealing with major job changes. This is not to say parents aren’t dealing with major job changes as well; however, for many nannies, these changes involve sacrificing their own health, comfort, and personal lives to provide care to another family. I saw a meme that said,
“What is it like to be a nanny right now? You know the scene in the Titanic where the ship is sinking and the band is still playing? We’re the band.”
Take a moment to think about this. Nannies are helpers, and during this emergency, many are pitching in to help even more. This is not to imply that nannies are comparable to medical professionals putting their lives on the line, but many of them are showing up and ensuring parents can still work, including the medical professionals saving lives. Childcare workers are often undervalued and underpaid, yet in moments of crisis, they are the ones expected to step up.
For most nannies, kids are out of school. Many nannies would prefer to stay home for their own safety, but it’s not possible for a nanny to do their job from home. If they don’t show up to work, parents cannot effectively get their own work done. With the COVID-19 Pandemic, nannies are facing some of the following situations:
They are now doubling as a homeschool teacher, and they can’t take the kids out of the house like usual. Their Mom Boss and Dad Boss are now working from home (This creates an incredibly challenging work environment for everyone involved).
Some nannies are being told they are not needed for a few weeks and to stay home, but they are not being paid. In fact, some of them are being told they won’t be paid even though they have guaranteed hours outlined in their contract.
Other parents believe nannies have a right to quarantine at home, while still receiving full pay. One mom shared with us that she will pay her “nanny’s full salary and will not require her to work. It’s not safe right now for her to be traveling.”
Some parents are not very concerned, and expect the nanny to stick to their usual routine, including grocery shopping, taking the kids out and about, travel out of town with them, and more. Nannies who are taking the recommendation to practice social distancing more seriously, are faced with the dilemma of how to assert themselves without crossing a professional boundary.
Some nannies are not as worried about the virus as their bosses are, and they are struggling with parents trying to dictate their personal life when off the clock and not being paid. These parents want to reduce the exposure their nanny may bring back into their home if the nanny continues to go out to public places when off the clock.
Many nannies are having to take on additional kids because other families don’t have nannies, but still have to work (Keep in mind that some nannies still have to figure out how to care for their own children who aren’t in school).
Some nannies are being asked/required to quarantine at their nanny family’s home and temporarily become a live-in nanny for an unknown number of weeks – some with additional pay and some with no extra pay at all.
Some nannies are being completely laid off.
Other nannies whose bosses are essential employees, such as doctors, firefighters, police officers, etc., are having to work more hours and risk exposure just by showing up to their nanny family’s home each day.
With all this said, it's incredibly clear that families are handling this situation in varying ways, and there is no one size fits all. Here are some of the stories submitted to us by both nannies and parents on Facebook:
“Both parents [are] working from home, and [we] will talk to our nanny tomorrow about her comfort levels with coming to the city 2 or 3 days. She has children of her own, so [we] need to be sensitive to her own family’s needs. If she is not comfortable we will be fine and work out our schedules. As long as we are being paid we will pay her.”
“My job will not be paying me for the two weeks I’m out of work because they are working from home. I’m not at all happy and will be looking for other employment when the school year is over. My other very part time job is. What do they expect me to do without income. I offered to watch the kids all day as opposed to just after school if needed and told them I need to work but no response other than ‘my husband will be working from home but if something changes we will let you know.’”
“We’re going to try having our nanny drive herself this week and pay for her parking. I’m working from home now but my husband isn’t and I need childcare to be able to work. That said, as soon as she’s no longer comfortable doing this, we’ll have her stay home and figure out how to tag team me and my husband (these are unprecedented times and our employers will deal). We’ll keep paying her her regular salary while she’s at home as long as we’re able.”
“…My nanny agreement has been suspended for 3 weeks... [they texted me] ’We will pay you for Friday the 13th and that’s it. We apologize it’s for safety.’ I have set days and times agreed upon. This family has shut their office down for 3 weeks and will stay home, therefore they suspended me with no pay. …What bothers me is that WE together are in this. I believe nannies are a very intimate personal job, however when money is involved it seems to get a tiny bit cut throat and that hurts me, shocks me. I always put my nanny family in front but now wonder if I need to run it like a business.”
“We are on holiday but when we return and will be working from home we plan to continue to have our part-time nanny. She lives close to us and walks to work. If we choose to have her stay home we will continue to pay her as she is far too important for us to risk losing her once life resumes.”
“We will probably leave the city for a while and will pay our nanny while we are gone. This is difficult for everyone, but our decision can not affect her on a small salary negatively. She’s key to us being able to do what we do professionally, so we owe her loyalty and a sense of security financially throughout this.”
How Parents Are Adjusting
At the end of the day, parents are the only ones ultimately responsible for their children and their household. During this time, disruption and inconvenience to daily life is inevitable. Kids are out of school and in cases where a nanny cannot, should not, or refuses to continue coming to work, parents are having to multitask and figure out a way to work from home while also caring for their children around the clock.
Here’s how parents have told us they’re handling their kids being at home:
Each parent alternates childcare shifts and tag teams so that both parents get uninterrupted time each day to focus on work.
Parents allow kids to have a lot of independent play time or even using more screen time than usual.
Parents enforce a daily quiet time, even for older children who no longer nap.
Many are implementing a daily schedule, but are being forgiving of themselves knowing the schedule may ultimately go out the window.
Since we are in uncharted territory, most companies/employers seem to be offering a lot of understanding and flexibility. Employers are aware that schools and daycares are closing, and therefore recognize that parents working from home might have the noise of children in the background, and may have to step away at times to meet their children’s needs. These are extreme circumstances requiring some extreme adjustments. We are in survival mode, so that means parents and employers are forced to do whatever necessary to adapt and get through this.
Things for Parents to Consider
This survival mode also applies to nannies who are continuing to come into work. Nannies are expressing worry because in addition to emotionally processing this scary pandemic, they are risking their health by continuing to commute to work each day, and are now cooped up with all the kids home, plus parents in the next room.
Some (not all) nannies may ask for an increase in their rates for various reasons. For example, are they homeschooling the children when that was previously not a part of their job? Do they take the subway to work, putting themselves at risk? Are they taking care of additional children? There is a bit of a divide in the nanny community on this topic, as some feel it’s not appropriate to increase rates in the middle of a crisis, while others are comparing it to when Uber has surge pricing due to increased risk/supply and demand.
There is a real concern of burnout if a nanny is expected to “go go go”, entertaining the kids at home for 8-12 hour days, with little to no adjustments or flexibility to the normal rules and routine. Allow your nanny to be more lenient in the home, and recognize that your nanny may be feeling overwhelmed and distracted by all that is going on.
Several moms on Facebook expressed that they understand the risk of having their nanny continue to use public transport. Many of them have opted to cover the cost to Uber their nanny to and from work. Another mom has implemented this solution:
“Currently my nanny travels to us at off times so the subways are not crowded – she changes her clothes when she gets here and washes the ones she wore on the subway. She says there are only a handful of people in the subway cars and she wears a mask. We are going to offer to have her stay over if she wants on Monday and, if we leave the city, she is invited to join. If at any point she can’t get to us in a way she is comfortable with (or is safe), we will pay her no matter what.”
If you want to ask your nanny to live-in for a period of time, consider the effects this pandemic has on your nanny’s life as well. Be considerate when thinking of asking them to work as a live-in nanny (think how you would feel if your employer asked you to leave your family and move into the office).
Note: Some nannies are totally up for temporarily moving in and quarantining with their nanny family. One nanny expressed to us,
“My nanny family and I decided that if there is a mandated self-quarantine, I will do so at their house! It’s just easier that way, and honestly I don’t mind it at all! I have older parents at home, so it’s as much for my benefit as theirs! So I am not asking for an overnight fee if that were to happen!”
Others feel their lives shouldn’t be disrupted just so the nanny family experiences normalcy and convenience. Nothing about this is normal. As another nanny explains,
“Pandemic or not, parents are asking their nanny to move in for a few weeks in order for their lives to continue in as normal a fashion as possible. For convenience. Meanwhile the nanny is expected to put her life on hold? I agree that people need to pull together in a time of crisis and help each other out. But in this line of work I’ve seen FAR too often that “pulling together” means nannies giving up their lives for the sake of their employer to continue their life without interruption and inconvenience. It 100% depends on the circumstances, but parents shouldn’t be expecting their nannies to move in for a few weeks “for convenience sake”.
The general consensus seems to be that if parents are still being paid, then their nanny should be paid - regardless of if the nanny has guaranteed hours or not . Many nannies are discussing what they would do if told to stay home unpaid or forced to stay home unpaid due to a mandated lockdown. Most are saying it depends on the exact circumstances, for example, if the parents aren’t getting paid and truly cannot afford to keep employing their nanny, then an honest discussion needs to take place. But if the parents are still getting paid or could still afford to support their nanny during this difficult time, yet are choosing not to, nannies almost unanimously agree that this would cause them to look for new employment and not return after this is over.
Consider if you really need your nanny to continue working. Even if parents are working from home, their employers are being flexible and understanding. Extending that same grace to your nanny if you can get by without them, could go a long way in maintaining your nanny’s loyalty. Just as you want to be with your family and surrounded by the safety and comfort of your own home, your nanny shares the same sentiments.
Everyone’s lives are being interrupted and inconvenienced, so it is important for nanny families to support their nannies while they continue to support you.
Some Families are Suspending their Nannies’ Contracts
Across the nanny boards, it appears that nannies who have contracts with guaranteed hours are financially more protected during this time. Many of them seem to either still be working or told to stay home with pay. With that said, some families are opting to “suspend” their nanny’s contract for the next several weeks without pay, especially if they themselves are suspended from their jobs without pay. Nannies are wondering, “How can this even happen? Isn’t the whole point of having a contract to ensure that all parties adhere to it, despite this pandemic?”
According to Homework Solutions,
“The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) does not require an employer to pay a non-exempt employee for time not worked. Bear in mind, however, that a family may have a legal obligation to keep paying employees because of an employment contract. Many families “guarantee” a minimum number of hours pay to their nanny who is otherwise able and willing to work. If it is the family’s choice not to have the nanny come in and the nanny has a guaranteed pay benefit, this will come into play. If the nanny has no guarantee, the nanny should immediately initiate an unemployment claim. Unemployment compensation provides 40-70% income replacement when a worker’s employment ceases, even a lay off, through no fault of their own. The employer MUST timely respond to the State’s DOL inquiry about the terms of her job loss. If your nanny is being paid off the books, be very careful. Your nanny could still file for unemployment and you will become liable for all state and federal employment taxes. This includes the FICA taxes you did not deduct from her pay.”
An important thing to note is that according to Homework Solutions, even nannies paid off the books can file for unemployment. This would likely create a very messy situation in terms of owing back taxes. There’s a lot to consider, and parents should prepare for their off-the-books nanny possibly filing for unemployment if they suddenly find themselves suspended without pay or laid off.
This is the scary reality of our current situation, and things nannies are starting to prepare themselves for. It’s an unfortunate situation all around, and if a parent truly cannot afford to continue paying their nanny during this time, what options do they have? One mom shares,
“My nanny chose to stay home because she has asthma and I support her doing so. I paid her the same amount she gets for holiday basis so she gets something for next week and we will monitor as the weeks go by. She only works part time for me. I would love to pay her full rate, but as my husband owns a restaurant we are being VERY conservative with all the uncertainty, tough times for everyone.”
It is an incredibly difficult time for everyone, which is further complicated by the fact that most nanny agreements don’t have a “pandemic clause.” As things are rapidly changing by the day, families and nannies are forced to quickly adapt and problem solve. This is a global crisis that requires a lot of transparent and honest communication between parents and nannies. There is no definitive answer on how to navigate this, hence why this article focuses on the thoughts expressed by nannies and parents alike. The goal here is to merely detail the current discussions, concerns, considerations, and experiences, in hopes that nannies and parents will gain some perspective.
For the latest updates and detailed information on COVID-19, visit the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) website, as well as The World Health Organization (WHO)
Disclaimer: This article is based on our thoughts, observations, and opinions; it should not be taken as fact nor used as professional or legal advice.